timeforHERstory

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies.....

June 7, 2013 entry

"First week is almost over. All I can say is.. it will never be the same again. Like before. Ughhh. With all the new sched, blockmates, profs. Everything...

 I’m just missing a lot of people lately. That’s why getting pretty much attached to anything is not helpful. The tendency of people is to depend. To cling. If I continue depending on people alone, how can I survived in this world full of uncertainties?"

Reminding a forgetful mind...

This feeling I have is taking me back to the same feeling I had when my dad left. For good.

I will give everything just to get a single hug from him. Crying as hard as I can. Tell me what will I do just to have a glance of him. Cause I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I might forget the sound of his laugh soon.

 :(

Then, I started living my life full of worries. 

 My heart was full of fear.

 I’m always afraid of being left.

 I got tired of watching people come and go.

 I got filled with broken promises.

 I felt sad.

 I was hurt.

 I cried.

 I got broken. 

 I grieved.

Then I surrendered. 

I lifted all my thoughts and feelings to Him. And He said He is with me. I was never alone. He is suffering with me. All this time that I thought I was doing things on my own. That I worry alone. He made me realize that I have His attention. He never left me nor forsake me.

Dade is one of the greatest blessing God has given me. No remarks can express how grateful I am to have you as our father. God extended His unconditional love to us through you. Those thirteen years are the thirteen years of my existence that I will never forget. I’m just so blessed to spend it with you and the whole family.

Got stucked already. And for once, I decided to move on. And live the new journey that awaits me. To live a new life that God is offering me. My strength is limited. So is my ability. My time. My life…

But my God is unlimited. A God of second chances. His thinking and His ways are far better than mine. He’s bigger than my fears and frets. Thank you for telling me it’s never too late. Thank you for not giving up on me. I’m lost and you have found me. You have bought the price for me. Now I am sold. With all I am, I will lift Your name high. Because it was never been about me. It will always be You. Forever. Promise.

 Love, xxx